转Reddit火贴, 娶了织女做老婆的PTSD互助会
source: https://www.reddit.com/r/China/comments/13sodi8/chinese_girlswomen/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
翻译(DeepL):
几年前，我遇到一个中国女孩。她非常可爱，聪明，而且比我所经历过的更有亲和力。我们结婚了，有了一个孩子，一切看起来都很好。
她总是有点控制欲和权利，但这对我来说是好事。当她要求一些极端的东西时，我偶尔会提出来，但这从未成为一个问题。然后，情况开始变得更糟。一年之内，她主宰了我生活的方方面面，她告诉我如何穿衣，吃什么，我有哪些朋友，甚至让我与家人断绝关系，包括我即将去世的父亲。
我不能提出来，她只是把我挡在门外，要么变得不爱说话，要么变得过于情绪化。她甚至打我，好几次。我要求进行关系治疗，她同意了。接下来的六个月是徒劳的练习；一切都是我的错，我必须做得更好，诸如此类。我问我应该做得更好，而她只是重复以前发生过的事情，准确度高得吓人。我以为是我记错了。
然后，突然间，她开走了我的车，然后离开了。她现在起诉要求获得我们孩子的监护权，因为我 "危险地失去理智 "和 "暴力"。另一方面，我正在接受治疗，并得到了创伤后应激障碍和自恋受害者综合症的诊断。
我想 "哇，我一定有精致的坏运气"。
然后我的治疗师让我参加了一个由22名自恋者的男性受害者组成的小组。结果发现有19人有一个中国妻子或女朋友。我联系了我认识的其他有中国妻子的男人（我通过我妻子认识了不少人）。我与六个人取得了联系，其中三个人现在正处于自己的监护权争夺战中。第七个人在几个月前自杀了，当时他失去了他的房子、孩子和工作。
我想说的是；我所知道的唯一最好的浪漫关系是中国女人和非中国男人之间的关系，亚军也是如此。但他们现在看起来像是例外，或者说中国女人好像只存在于光谱的两个极端。
有谁能在这方面提供一些见解？
原文:
Couple years ago, I met a Chinese girl. Very cute, smart, and more affectionate than I've ever experienced. We married, got a kid, and everything seemed fine.
She was always a bit controlling and entitled, but that was fine with me. I brought it up once in a while, when she demanded something extreme, and it never became an issue. And then it started to get worse. Within a year, she dominated every aspect of my life, she told me how to dress, what to eat, which friends I had, and even made me cut out family members, including my dying father.
I couldn't bring it up; she'd just block me, become either non-emotional or over-the-top emotional. She even hit me, several times. I asked for relationship therapy, and she agreed. The next six months were an exercise in futility; everything was my fault, I had to do better, and so forth. I asked what I should do better, and she'd just repeat things that happened before with frightening inaccuracy. I thought it was me who was misremembering.
Then, suddenly, she took my car, and left. She's now suing for custody of our child, since I am "dangerously unhinged" and "violent". I, on the other hand, am in therapy, and got the diagnosis PTSD and narcissistic victim syndrome.
I thought "Wow, I must have exquisite bad luck".
And then my therapist got me in a group of 22 male victims of narcissists. Turns out that 19 had a Chinese wife or girlfriend. I reached out to the other men I know with a Chinese wife (I met quite a few through my wife). I made contact with six, and three are now in custody battles of their own. Number seven killed himself a few months back, when he lost his house, child, and job.
Just to be clear; the single best romantic relationship I know is between a Chinese woman and a non-Chinese man, as is the runner up. But they now appear like the exception, or it's like Chinese women only exist on the extremes of the spectrum.
Can anyone offer any insight in this?
翻译(DeepL):
几年前，我遇到一个中国女孩。她非常可爱，聪明，而且比我所经历过的更有亲和力。我们结婚了，有了一个孩子，一切看起来都很好。
她总是有点控制欲和权利，但这对我来说是好事。当她要求一些极端的东西时，我偶尔会提出来，但这从未成为一个问题。然后，情况开始变得更糟。一年之内，她主宰了我生活的方方面面，她告诉我如何穿衣，吃什么，我有哪些朋友，甚至让我与家人断绝关系，包括我即将去世的父亲。
我不能提出来，她只是把我挡在门外，要么变得不爱说话，要么变得过于情绪化。她甚至打我，好几次。我要求进行关系治疗，她同意了。接下来的六个月是徒劳的练习；一切都是我的错，我必须做得更好，诸如此类。我问我应该做得更好，而她只是重复以前发生过的事情，准确度高得吓人。我以为是我记错了。
然后，突然间，她开走了我的车，然后离开了。她现在起诉要求获得我们孩子的监护权，因为我 "危险地失去理智 "和 "暴力"。另一方面，我正在接受治疗，并得到了创伤后应激障碍和自恋受害者综合症的诊断。
我想 "哇，我一定有精致的坏运气"。
然后我的治疗师让我参加了一个由22名自恋者的男性受害者组成的小组。结果发现有19人有一个中国妻子或女朋友。我联系了我认识的其他有中国妻子的男人（我通过我妻子认识了不少人）。我与六个人取得了联系，其中三个人现在正处于自己的监护权争夺战中。第七个人在几个月前自杀了，当时他失去了他的房子、孩子和工作。
我想说的是；我所知道的唯一最好的浪漫关系是中国女人和非中国男人之间的关系，亚军也是如此。但他们现在看起来像是例外，或者说中国女人好像只存在于光谱的两个极端。
有谁能在这方面提供一些见解？
原文:
Couple years ago, I met a Chinese girl. Very cute, smart, and more affectionate than I've ever experienced. We married, got a kid, and everything seemed fine.
She was always a bit controlling and entitled, but that was fine with me. I brought it up once in a while, when she demanded something extreme, and it never became an issue. And then it started to get worse. Within a year, she dominated every aspect of my life, she told me how to dress, what to eat, which friends I had, and even made me cut out family members, including my dying father.
I couldn't bring it up; she'd just block me, become either non-emotional or over-the-top emotional. She even hit me, several times. I asked for relationship therapy, and she agreed. The next six months were an exercise in futility; everything was my fault, I had to do better, and so forth. I asked what I should do better, and she'd just repeat things that happened before with frightening inaccuracy. I thought it was me who was misremembering.
Then, suddenly, she took my car, and left. She's now suing for custody of our child, since I am "dangerously unhinged" and "violent". I, on the other hand, am in therapy, and got the diagnosis PTSD and narcissistic victim syndrome.
I thought "Wow, I must have exquisite bad luck".
And then my therapist got me in a group of 22 male victims of narcissists. Turns out that 19 had a Chinese wife or girlfriend. I reached out to the other men I know with a Chinese wife (I met quite a few through my wife). I made contact with six, and three are now in custody battles of their own. Number seven killed himself a few months back, when he lost his house, child, and job.
Just to be clear; the single best romantic relationship I know is between a Chinese woman and a non-Chinese man, as is the runner up. But they now appear like the exception, or it's like Chinese women only exist on the extremes of the spectrum.
Can anyone offer any insight in this?
